Tuesday, December 22, 2009

just a moment

Somehow this time of the end
of this year that has passed
brings a lovely glory
to the hurdles soared

Cold temperatures and warm hugs
happy faces and welcoming arms
lights dancing at night
renewing future set sights

Remembering what is forgot
and holding people near
closer to your hearts
recovering lost starts

Taking in a deep sigh
Closing both divine eyes
and leaping into the newness
of the new year not in jest

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Warm Dream

So not difficult to imagine
The death of me slowly
Of yours truly
In the quiet dark and coldness

But the dreams they differ
In eccentric atrocities
Vivid with warm red
By what hand it bled

To wonder how close
The dream world it mimics
Us in our lives together
Mashed, torn tethers

Frayed at the edges
Of insides of my mind
Of heart strings held binding
With comfort attending

Friday, December 4, 2009


It's just the way
it tears
me apart
the way you just
break my heart
It's no matter
what words can say
what actions are
out to play

Imagining futures
ecstatic possible
toughen me
heart pieces
echoing the
words spell out
for me to soak in
except my armor
didn't save me
but kept me numb

Grew a second
resentments win
complicated files
insides count
stock in soul-feeding
not hindering
positivity in the
word of being

Friday, November 20, 2009

Night Dreams

Unknown moments sit scary
Or lie seen as possibility
Which endlessly cause me weary

Creeping around happy corners
Forewarning sharp deathly borders

Rake away old and decayed dead
And replace with harsh plastic beds
Flowers, and people with hopes and doubt
Letting daylight in to carry you out

Smiles uplift your exterior
Solidify your wants over needs
To sacrifice what the truth bleeds

Thursday, November 19, 2009

For There

There is something there
that we are connected
forever seems a long time
in a life past me directed

You have my heart there
whether you hold it or
carry on for your release
presently or in memory of me

So many instances there
make life far complicated
I as your partner here
and your confidant near

Wednesday, November 18, 2009


Somehow dreams are stalking
My reality in waking and walking
Above ground around earth
But with shady apprehension first

Somehow held by an invisible hand
Not stirring of a godly strand
But instead a wavering question
Without a future for worry to rest in

Somehow days are welcome here
With the pause of a quiet night's fear
Asleep in parallel self-tension
For keeping the lonely heart restless



Look at me!

Touch my locks of hair
Help me catch my knees
Your willingness to appreciate
My importance is noticed

No more than patience is paid
So you hold my hand in made
Excuse yourself for me
Choose your conversations
Exquisite and carefully

Be careful not to bore
I am a muse
That's what I'm here for


Holding hands with confusion
While minutes consume seconds,
and laughter leaves us gripping from
our internal expectations bending.

To know the entire world
with its truths is deadly,
and takes complete calm
away from us entirely.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Fall Away

Barely you say
you recognize me
but a stranger I am not
in this familiar way

The past counting in
as a presence right here
shared and connected issues
discussed in fact have been

Voicing the silence
you talk in still circles
convincing yourself perhaps
in day to day common sense

Hoping that you learn
previous happy occurrences
are rare in memory moments
and leaves are quick to turn

Monday, November 9, 2009

In November

In November the skies
have the clearing
and the nights
have the bright stars
but while we are sitting
in silence and conceding
truly what lies
quietly missing
the end of the year
with the world spinning
keeps going forward
without too much time
to remember the motions
that carried you here
to this time like waves
of rustling and twirling
and absolutely learning.

Thursday, October 15, 2009


How you think of me
is quite intriguing
what you see is
something I might
believe in

would you think
of me the most
ever in your day
stop to think
but not to say

keep your lips
so quiet and slow
what you think
can spill into
where we will go

Wednesday, October 7, 2009


When you read the words
you do not understand more
but less is what fills the air
and encumbers my humble core

Because you state nothing
you do not hear my soul
but slice with silence
and muffle my woes

When I share the wording
I contemplate myself inwards
but solace escapes me
to hunt what is heard

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Weak In

Days in I feel like a monster
hiding out in a neighbor's cave
Days out I feel like a harbor
holding in out over the seas

Nights in I feel like a stranger
lurking around inside your window
Nights out I feel like a storm
hovering inside around the town

Weeks in I feel like a martyr
speaking above below my wisdom
Weeks out I feel like a hero
breaking below above your history

Months in I feel like a cynic
bashing everything within boundaries
Months out I feel like a sunbeam
warming within everything of foundation

Years in I feel like a stoic statue
holding all unto proved opinions
Years out I feel like a true person
giving unto all my every efforts

Careful, Careful

Quietly and silently watching
each moment carefully treading
tiptoeing and lightly stepping
across the temperamental hearts

Wistfully and urgently pleading
within each conversation seeking
patiently with words heeding
looking far into the futures

Curling and questioning seeing
emotions within me breaking
re-enacting and flighty trekking
holding onto lives now

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Melancholy Baby

When the numbness creeps in
we're unsuspecting sitting victims
because it attacks so slightly
ravaging quiet hours we see
everything we can't hold onto
everything trustworthy moves

Filled picture frames
and writing games
the lists of wants
always outweigh everything
placed all together
your doubts consume
my time in my life with you

Pity spits in the faces
of self loathing creations
just smile and carry on
with the daily grind
because recognizing
what you won't find
will come at such a late time
to act when what you
didn't realize this all was amiss

Melancholy baby
with sugar-free shine
don't mind it, don't take the time
enriching the way we like to
say hello
play favorite
for all of my trying

Friday, September 18, 2009

No, But if So Simple

She'll tell you a tale
of sorrow and woes
and stand to unveil
more wallowing she knows
of truth, and love,
and glorious thoughts,
inside a heart and mind so tough
to find many traits
are often sought

She tells of the past
of it's great many memories
to remove current guilt cast
upon herself to wonder
"can I be?"
in a happier world
if only it was me

Alone and pieced more shattered
than the outside
so self-bitterly battered
When she says and talks aloud
the words float away
without taking sound

Sharing with other unchanged, askew
to wallow in unmistakable woes
cover everything, to hide,
carry on to suffice
everyone's picture of her
in her own view

making not a stir in her story
but telling herself to be pleased
and laugh when urged

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Follow Crimson

In my bones, they feel it
These bones are so restless
Shuttering in and delving out
Anger in crimson shoving doubt
Like paper planes the window fly
Light and airy oh moody my
Holding onto my rock rightly
With both hands straining tightly

In my eyes, they can’t see it
These eyes stare forever
Up and down sewn all around
His face in front of me
Her face behind what I see
The picture of red shoes from him
Now haunt and covet by whim
The damned shadows past follow

Thursday, August 20, 2009

second of the 6th

Sleep stirred so
the mountain ranges crumbled
into the rumbling sea

A loved bird set free
set loose to not yet return
on purpose

But actions in rapid effect
each have a purpose
purportedly to neglect

So winds they wavered
and the ground, it swallowed
everything possibly dreamed

The bird lost forever
without a will to survive
carried with it all enjoyed

Friday, August 14, 2009

you found

you found my funny bone
and tickled it home
you found my favorite wish
and its silly twist
you found my heart strings
upon which love wings
you found me and I found you
before we actually knew
our love was true

Wednesday, August 12, 2009


I heard the footsteps
before the snarl
the angry thing
it grabbed me
and threw me far

Frozen like tepid crystal
I heard it crack
before the shattering
and the fall back

Today is the day
I died on the inside
the sun actually bright
with no place to hide

Picked up my own pieces
but used no glue
nothing too sticky
faith will see me through

Faith in love?
you ask with a laugh
and somehow it was
never a question

At least from my side
of the rickety bridge
that holds us here
for quite a ride

the thing it sways
and will unhinge

But you hold tight
until you can't anymore
the angry thing
awaits the gore

You shatter
scattering mess
No will no more

Monday, August 10, 2009


so weak
so weak
that I can barely speak
words bursting
at twilight's peak

2:35am creeps so slow
who knew the beast
would bite me so
that there's tears
that rolling appear

my heart breaks
by my fault
why ask the why
from the fallout

heartstrings attached
and strung about
not so intertwined
as what you once thought

smug and brash
so independent
inpatient temperament
world against me
you see

crumble pieces mine
all glued and held
together, not touching
the weight unbarring

the weakness shows true
and bashful
makes for you
belittled by myself
and no one else
take the broken moment

Friday, July 31, 2009


so contagious
spunky smiling
laughing not chiding
lights as rays
peer down dark caves
find her again
truly heart sent
and hold and cherish
gripping life's rarest
where the real meaning
lies within beaming
his small hands hold
worlds never sold
his laugh is the best

Monday, July 27, 2009

Like Your Music

melodies please follow me
hold my hand in yours forever
carry me along like your music notes
into the winds, into the seas
I laugh; you are so clever
my heart keepsakes your quotes
and see the chorus is where I follow
surprisingly all see the unexpectedly
jumps and hoops and landings
blindfolded in my inner hollows
calling my name to beckon me

Thursday, July 16, 2009


tell a story of madness
in love without your sadness
that carries love and hoping
above all that entails coping

where my heart is held high
and my spirit is nearby
and every moment means
much more than every dream

before it came and ended
before the tears descended
before the stars they lied
in my face while you denied

the evil poison diminished my soul
created a shift big enough in our woes
again, again, and again once more
strength is taken away from me
reliance both and your honesty

because now no promises exist
your love for what we wished
is gone
all gone
so long

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Fool of

oh dear agony
you continue to enslave me
while my eyes burn
and emptiness churns
somehow you are familiar
somehow you are so killer
there is nothing to be
but a beauty or a beast
and what is left of life
when you don't hold the knife
when you take the stone
and smash it against bones

those others' words
just can't be heard
they are but fools laughable
together in adolescent travels
they are so eager to avoid
the big picture instead toyed
nothing to do but ignore
everyone who is not my core
embrace this day's moment
to ensnare what's heaven sent

Thursday, July 9, 2009

barred 05/10/09

Broken, broken
barred unspoken
Love lies here not
beneath this angry hot

Temper, temper
better remembered
Evil eyes see not
farsighted worries rot

Center, center
attention getter
Hands here hold do not
tender unclasped hands sought

Tuesday, July 7, 2009


Capture my netted heart
Enrapture my longed soul
Hit me in the arm long parts
Throw me in a shallow bowl
Lonely in a room
of mouths and minds
Breaking verbiage tradition
Melting molded conditions
Better to be stolen away
My inner preclevities
than lost amongst them
the endless

Monday, July 6, 2009

broken 2

Broken, shattered into millions of pieces
Held on, glued together by dependency issues,
few loved ones, guilty sorrows.
But those pieces aren't as strong,
as the whole once was.
And some chips and crack open waves
of sharp pieces flooding on my heart.

Sunday, July 5, 2009


rock a wish away be lovelier than today
follow notes in your soul floating by
carry me and mine over lakes and streams
of time
heavy words weigh on me growing together
separately but barely
where travels find circles widen,
later coincide, break away, quickly gone
catch a pickup game con
notice the trick but do not hint
see the slight of hand movements
steal your lightness
of being still in quietness
so you don't notice
the turn

Friday, July 3, 2009


Sight made me see but the light
pointed to need.
The touch caught my taste of
love and fear,
because the dark apart cares.
Hearing fantastic tales and songs
singing to my broken pieces
sent away clinging.

Warmth went cold and slide under
my feet, where to hold embrace
by the earthly seat.
Chased down senses following me, but
too scattered, lost, and frayed to meet.
Secure with stars- infinite space to
dream away and ignore the scars.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Sweet Rumble

waiting a long time
many years with a viewing
many moons
see the difference
so maybe now soon
to find space to belong
easy to fit in
write a song

break it down inside
break me piece by piece
what a scary
bumpy ride
envy for time to cease

here I am
follow me
I can't follow
you should see
but some days
you just don't see me
rumble by on so sweetly
mysterious beyond me

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Oh Now

Wayard motion
pulling forward
passing by and nodding,
How many awkward ideas
linger fasting in disguise

Try to find me
hide and seek me
taste my differing
sea of desires growing, fleeing

Fleeting on a ship
stowing away
where once
we were now

Monday, June 22, 2009


Synonyms mimic me
Here within your vanity
Words attack and reach
Instead of understand and teach
So say the same
Have no claims
How horrible it is to see
No words can save me
Nor undress and slave we
Dawn is not a new day
Beginning how you say

Monday, June 15, 2009


you are a lover of words
and the music they follow
they dance in your mind
and sing to be swallowed

you are at first introduction
more passionate on the inside
but muse to me always
and sometimes too much then

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Funny How

Funny how heart sadness
Can convince the rest of you
You're out to get madness
From feet to hands and in between
The small spaces filling up
Achy and sore in the face so mean

Funny how a bit of drowning
Can make you grasp the air above
Both hands outstretched in mourning
Your senses lost completely
Filled with numbness and fake smiles
Every face is utterly blurry

Funny how a bit of silent suffering
Can cause everything to slip away
People talking around is just buffering
Truth and hurt in great leaps abound
I pray jump over me today again
Because the strength losing is not found

Funny how the lying and heavy honesty
Can chip away all your faith in this life
But only your hands physically do break me
One leads to another and a backstory so pale
Which all gets read and reread mentally
The steps traced here to unsteady the fail

Funny how a wee bit of hope here
Can open your eyes and give a breathy sigh
Hold my hands and my heart in your palms near
Kindness only kills if you do it to hurt me
Because with the one chance its taking all
The smiling and love energy within to even be me

Monday, June 8, 2009


What is true
What is so sacred
That can be more than touched
More than thrown away
Less than discarded

My love, my heart
My future, my dreams
All put on pause
While deciding how much hope
Exists in my hands, within my means

Somehow the deciding
Doesn't come so easily
Intense soul searching without a rescue
Keeping myself and maybe you afloat
Unfortunately, there is no epiphany

Lights and shadows
Fill the rooms in which we live
Bringing together hands so hurt
Being ready to go into the world
Without each others' support to give

Monday, June 1, 2009

She knows it

You can't keep your feet
on the ground
you can't keep your heart
on your sleeve

But you run amuck in the streets
you stopped carrying my heart
and your soul didn't stop
or pause to hear love leave

What did we all think of this nonsensical banter?
What does 'or for worse' really stand for?

I held that door open for you
even after you broke the handle
even after it got so dirty to see through
even after the hinges dismantled

Small moments I attempted
not in emptiness
but such a waste it became
when nothing was returned the same

So we sit in silence
the midnight hour approach
and came and went again
but now more broken

None of us are perfect
but heaviness of life and light
make us stop being imperfect
and try with all we have

or at least, it should.
But where are you going?

What you need is not me
clearer than everyone we know sees
I don't carry your heart
She knows it
You see it
and barely want to believe it

But me, I don't know how many
times it takes before being broken
again and again before nothing
is left for even me

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Some Didn't

Something tells me
the time it doesn't
sit well with me
and worry I musn't

Someone told me
calmness it shouldn't
so easily come to me
and escape I couldn't

Somewhere calls me
saying happiness didn't
seek and find me
and smile I haven't

Somehow it remains
standing here hasn't
broken pieces of me
and kept together I haven't

Someway it will find me
looking around I shouldn't
focus too much on me
relaxing here I couldn't

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Remember where

Changing yourself on the flipside
no less no regret on the inside
To look yourself in the mirror
see your face any clearer
After the day ended
the warm sun settled

Even the warm parts
overwhelmed the scared hearts
what you didn't know existed
in the spot before it shifted
You and me are nothing but small
even the rich can't have it all

Little thoughts and giving times
breaking up anything all kinds
Every little puzzle piece places
much sadness and grief on our faces
Having a family changes your wish list
grasps and takes what you've missed

Honey don't you remember
what its all about what's clear
maybe it's time to leave things
as they stand so shifty
Shaky thoughts and legs
dry mouth stopped my beg

Friday, May 1, 2009


Every negative moment
a drop in the bucket
a rock on its way
the drop assisted just
by the weight of it

Not heavy the hands
not heavy eyes
not heavy the heart
but the full weight
of all inside

The award you gave
rests upon my shoulders
when my head is turned
eyes seeking behind me
ever slightly

Cynicism such a regretful
creature grows from
your eyes while the rest
you hide from myself
and yourself, truly
starting to wonder..

Ponder, ponder, want
and wander.
Follow me.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009


The worry you wore
is no bother I bore
yet carried away
in no heart sway
say too much
for me is never enough
your bother I swore
would not bother me more
yet all you gave
which none I saved
and hardened my core
imagine it soar
past your eyes blindly
avoid putting it lightly
the world it tumbles
at my feet it crumbles
when sympathy cries
love stops its tries
my attitude you tore
you shut the door
while into pillow I scream
eccentric from my dream
you hold nothing not here
ignorant wordings appear
drop me and roll ignore
flush cheeks a chore

Thursday, April 23, 2009


Flattery is a coercion
that speaks in volume
the best way to
grab some attention
while some gobble it up
dare we say
eat with the
large silver spoon

Giggle in gaggles
grouping with secrets
out loud or unspoken
secrets don't make
friends he tells me
while laughing and hiding
all the pieces broken

People watching is a sport
we'd like to take part
but already here we are
enthused and attempting
to outwit any sly foxes
who creep in the side door

Keep your eye on that
worthy hidden prize
and don't move too fast
without watching your step
somehow it could all be
time to game or
lose your bets

Always smile
nod a nod
wink your wink
even if no one is looking
it was something you shared

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Brings showers

The spears they attack
out of nowhere in the quiet
while lying my head down
in the roughage of night

The amazement at speed
and cunning skill set
twirling and hurling
to make sense of it all

The thoughts from thinking
beware myself taking
steps backward and away
watching in third person

The world goes on even
when you're not included
because your head isn't straight
and have heard it all before

Baby, I'll make you a star
You're everything I need
You're going places
You bring me everything

All lies fake and repeated.

Because it's not a star
in the making but something
so confounded and screwed up
barely held together

The people don't see
what's really there though
they know no one's all right
just good in the head

The crowds lined up
on the other side
but your sympathy isn't wanted
is it yours or my time

April kills my soul
with the name
with the memories
with the date
with the heartbreak
with the last breath
with the guilt
and clockwatching

With the next few steps
next new people
few conversations between
but meaningful at least

The next month brings
the hope all over again
and always forever will
replenish faith in life

The beauty of it all
after the showers leave
the freshness of mind
will take on and succeed

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Bite my tongue

Don't sing me your song
your lovely words
that write so much

Don't fall in love
your arms can't
hold this worth

Don't temper your anger
and keep the truth
away from my ears

There is no other
that will ever be
in the same heart space
the same height

The pedestal you seek
is unreachable
so invisible to
the naked eyes

The confirmation that
is needed for me
exists mostly in
your conversation

Not the attention
or blind ambiguity
tears never run
but they bite my tongue

Don't seek for what
is definitely denied
which is unattainable
and unattractable

Don't tell me because
it can't touch or take
Because the determined
defeat is not light

Monday, April 13, 2009

idea of times

Wasting time which belongs
to neither you nor me
but we take and own it
to regard its complexity

How is that you can waste
one person's time- that
they took it and named it
to use it without combat

Time is such an extreme
currency in day or night
one clock one watching
with feeling of contrite

Daily basis collecting
to distribute whats yours
to never take back
but giving seems sore

Easy to watch
patiently to wait
spirits to break
an easy fate

it can be wasted
it can be stolen
it can be taken
it can be spent
it can be given
it can be watched
it can be used
it can never be given back
or really saved

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Well Enough

Ponder to see me
through the thick
and the thins
holding my hand
while kicking my shins

Love can only be
true for lasting
forever and longer
than you doubted
its will is stronger

To laugh and be
merry is happiness
saved up as gifts
to open during the
moments without rifts

Without the bad
the good cannot live
one must be known
well enough to enjoy
as well as to give

Friday, April 3, 2009


Get your go-go- flow
See you workin' it so
Gracious and good
Puts in you in a mood

Make that money
And go kiss your honey
With the same lips
Same timing hips

Don't take a hint
He'll bribe you with a glint
Of shiny objects like metal
Feel warm enough to settle

But it's the age
And that flash of rage
That linger with time
Getcha good and getcha mine

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Original Quiet

nothing like a quiet day
nothing like glorious thoughts
pondering on the inside
debating plans to be sought

rain hits the window
or rather the windshield today
turning off the radio
to listen without saying

sometimes sitting at the desk
and staring into space
is exactly needed
with nothing to go chase

no calls, no messages
no screentime or static
without the artificial noise
without talk, without it

sigh a deep breath
held heavy in hearts
no complaints or critiques
just original quiet in parts

Monday, March 30, 2009

And Still. . .

Breathe me and teach me
not to pry behind
glossy eyes
balancing across several fake paces
throwing weight on baring shoulders
sharing dropping molders
Try to clasp together the hands
holding my affectations (not affections)
sanding layers losing grasp
behind demands
so misunderstanding fixations
hide beneath

Friday, March 27, 2009

But Then, She Says

take me and toss me
beyond the fire
over the stream
heavy hands
outweigh light beams
shine towards seeing

me here taking
all the world in
all the souls to
celebrate for selfish
means you
your heart making do
accepting the flight
canary girl missed

captivate theories
of an empty cage
of smarts and stories
just throw me
with all the might
before time disappears
into light and
so we wake

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Never Am I

Never am I gonna be what you want me to be.

I don't grow into your ideals even speaking figuratively.

How I think and what I do is all up to me.

Being thoughtful and selfish is not what you want to see.

Not interested in my mind, but what you think only.

Yet I'm not taken seriously and maybe I secretly hate me.

Placed in a box of 'shoulds' and 'supposed to bes'

I walker furthur away from that person diffucultly.

Because never am I gonna be what you want me to be.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

About the Question

give me some attention
but don't ask me for my time
see that my ears are listening
and advice will never lie
wait for some approval
wait to be understood
bickering makes you feel human
like being happy never could
share those inner demons
but never let them live
keep those secrets hidden
bottle them and don't give
tell me what you'd do for me
but don't expect the same
in some 30 seconds or less
just leave the way you came
wait to feel the realness
wait for some big flaw
talking makes you feel special
the heart you never saw
but such a big act begins
for storytime again
so in every silver lining
there is a hell bent.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Spark It

infatuation can grow like a seed in a pot

watered by the genuine curiousity given

don't lose that specialness you sought

continue to fertilize with feelings driven

remember to always note tiny things

they stand so small and mean so much

different from what outside faces seem

the seeds of the plant can be lost

floating away without your touch

segueway into something new

like this can blossom yet not forgetting

untouchable from which it grew

counting it all in your settling

this happening occurs many times

growing tired of novelty eyes

Monday, March 23, 2009

That She-Devil

She stays under your skin,
her charm always
always slips right in

She might eat u alive
but always with a smile
dining in style
with aggravated guile

Call her and want her
beg her and bed her
she wants it all
no price is so small

she'll laugh and carry on
just believe her beyond
the doe eyes, porcelain skin
small frame that sins

this girl she haunts not just me
but she is adept cynically
and critically
the idea of her taunts me

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Broken for the Money

Slamming the drink down
splashing out of the glass
Yelling at the phone
speak your wordy trash

being that angry annoyed
words mean nothing
and everything...yet
sentiments are not coy

fighting and arguing
screaming in my head
something has to break
which will never be her

tough love is crap shoot
all the bullshit deterred
nothing but passion
and sizzling resent

is an instant switch on
and less to be hellbent
but that glass did break
and we did vent

too bad that fiery -
but justified outburst
did a good take.

Quiet Girl

She said she liked

The pictures of cheese
And the love story
Show in photographic ease

Shy on the outside
Intense on the insides
Words calculated carefully
And never confides

Like a delicate flower
But bristly in honesty
She doesn’t know her power
Hidden in her proximity

Mysterious and just
A little illusive to speak of
But she’s very aware
Of her surroundings enough

Her mind’s made up
On anything she’s read
And everything you say
She’ll discuss with interest instead