Weak In

Days in I feel like a monster
hiding out in a neighbor's cave
Days out I feel like a harbor
holding in out over the seas

Nights in I feel like a stranger
lurking around inside your window
Nights out I feel like a storm
hovering inside around the town

Weeks in I feel like a martyr
speaking above below my wisdom
Weeks out I feel like a hero
breaking below above your history

Months in I feel like a cynic
bashing everything within boundaries
Months out I feel like a sunbeam
warming within everything of foundation

Years in I feel like a stoic statue
holding all unto proved opinions
Years out I feel like a true person
giving unto all my every efforts

Careful, Careful

Quietly and silently watching
each moment carefully treading
tiptoeing and lightly stepping
across the temperamental hearts

Wistfully and urgently pleading
within each conversation seeking
patiently with words heeding
looking far into the futures

Curling and questioning seeing
emotions within me breaking
re-enacting and flighty trekking
holding onto lives now

Melancholy Baby

When the numbness creeps in
we're unsuspecting sitting victims
because it attacks so slightly
ravaging quiet hours we see
everything we can't hold onto
everything trustworthy moves

Filled picture frames
and writing games
the lists of wants
always outweigh everything
placed all together
your doubts consume
my time in my life with you

Pity spits in the faces
of self loathing creations
just smile and carry on
with the daily grind
because recognizing
what you won't find
will come at such a late time
to act when what you
didn't realize this all was amiss

Melancholy baby
with sugar-free shine
don't mind it, don't take the time
enriching the way we like to
say hello
play favorite
for all of my trying

No, But if So Simple

She'll tell you a tale
of sorrow and woes
and stand to unveil
more wallowing she knows
of truth, and love,
and glorious thoughts,
inside a heart and mind so tough
to find many traits
are often sought

She tells of the past
of it's great many memories
to remove current guilt cast
upon herself to wonder
"can I be?"
in a happier world
if only it was me

Alone and pieced more shattered
than the outside
so self-bitterly battered
When she says and talks aloud
the words float away
without taking sound

Sharing with other unchanged, askew
to wallow in unmistakable woes
cover everything, to hide,
carry on to suffice
everyone's picture of her
in her own view

making not a stir in her story
but telling herself to be pleased
and laugh when urged

Follow Crimson

In my bones, they feel it
These bones are so restless
Shuttering in and delving out
Anger in crimson shoving doubt
Like paper planes the window fly
Light and airy oh moody my
Holding onto my rock rightly
With both hands straining tightly

In my eyes, they can’t see it
These eyes stare forever
Up and down sewn all around
His face in front of me
Her face behind what I see
The picture of red shoes from him
Now haunt and covet by whim
The damned shadows past follow

second of the 6th

Sleep stirred so
the mountain ranges crumbled
into the rumbling sea

A loved bird set free
set loose to not yet return
on purpose

But actions in rapid effect
each have a purpose
purportedly to neglect

So winds they wavered
and the ground, it swallowed
everything possibly dreamed

The bird lost forever
without a will to survive
carried with it all enjoyed

you found

you found my funny bone
and tickled it home
you found my favorite wish
and its silly twist
you found my heart strings
upon which love wings
you found me and I found you
before we actually knew
our love was true

5/11/09

I heard the footsteps
before the snarl
the angry thing
it grabbed me
and threw me far

Frozen like tepid crystal
I heard it crack
before the shattering
and the fall back

Today is the day
I died on the inside
the sun actually bright
with no place to hide

Picked up my own pieces
but used no glue
nothing too sticky
faith will see me through

Faith in love?
you ask with a laugh
and somehow it was
never a question

At least from my side
of the rickety bridge
that holds us here
for quite a ride

the thing it sways
and will unhinge

But you hold tight
until you can't anymore
the angry thing
awaits the gore

You shatter
scattering mess
No will no more

2:45

so weak
so weak
that I can barely speak
words bursting
at twilight's peak

2:35am creeps so slow
who knew the beast
would bite me so
that there's tears
that rolling appear

my heart breaks
by my fault
why ask the why
from the fallout

heartstrings attached
and strung about
not so intertwined
as what you once thought

smug and brash
so independent
inpatient temperament
world against me
you see

crumble pieces mine
all glued and held
together, not touching
the weight unbarring

the weakness shows true
and bashful
makes for you
mimic
un-congratulate
belittled by myself
and no one else
take the broken moment

best

so contagious
non-anti-outrageous
spunky smiling
laughing not chiding
lights as rays
peer down dark caves
find her again
truly heart sent
and hold and cherish
gripping life's rarest
where the real meaning
lies within beaming
his small hands hold
worlds never sold
his laugh is the best